Drunk Elephants on Parade

This is crazy. Can you imagine this happening in Chicago? I bet Bruckheimer could totally do a movie about this (as long as there were at least 13 car chases and 54 explosions. And probably a plane crash). And try to ignore the Paris part. I do.

Paris was horrified to hear that 40 squiffy elephants fought with an electric pole in the West Garo Hills district last week, which instantly electrocuted six of the blotto beasts.

So the hotel heiress is launching a campaign to encourage locals to hide their vats of home-made brew from the grey inebriates, who have started to search for the free alcohol for their benders. Of last week's jumbo deaths, Paris said: "There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away.

"And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad. The biggest problems are in Assam and Meghalaya. The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them."